Recently as part of my weekly practice, I started an intuitive painting session.
What came through surprised me. It always does, even though I have done this process so many times and I know that when I truly follow the process of painting intuitively without judgement, I get a 1000 insights and I get unblocked from what is keeping me stuck.
This is what came through.
At first glance it looked to me like a butterfly that had not fully emerged from the cocoon. My first instinct (cue the inner critic that wants perfection in all forms) was to ‘fix’ it so it looks like a ‘real’ butterfly’ rather ‘deformed’. Then I paused, I remembered the whole point of intuitive painting, that the painting was a huge message from my inner wisdom.
It was that the process of transformation is taking place, it is messy, it is not perfect and it even looks ugly. What was required of me was complete acceptance, absolutely no judgement, and patience, patience, patience to let the process complete the way it is meant to.
I must admit this realization brought me to tears.
It was such a beautiful reflection of exactly what I’m going through and exactly what I needed to hear.
I’ve been going through Pluto transiting my Mercury since 2015 and now its transiting my Mars in Capricorn. To say I’ve been in a process of deep inner transformation is an understatement. Thankfully I became aware of these transits very early on when I was introduced to astrology so the intent of the transit has been very obvious to me. I’ve learned practical ways of working with it and even learned many lessons along the way that have helped the process of change.
But even then, it takes time and sometimes we can get impatient to build the next thing immediately, because we are so programmed to find security in KNOWING the exact next step and having a firm structure.
But it’s impossible to build the new when the old is still dissolving.
It’s impossible and cruel, to push the butterfly out of its cocoon before its time.
That is what the painting was trying to tell me.
To have patience and courage and patience and no judgement about where I think I am in the process and yet more patience and finally, trust in the process of change.