This week, I led the Amused workshop for the participants in my course Personal Mastery and Professional Development.
It's a 7-week course to transform career burnout and stagnancy into passion, purpose & clarity.
Every time I run the program, I refine it to make it more effective. This time, I added the full Amused workshop to the end of this program, as a way to integrate all the learnings.
To transform the voice of the inner critic into the inner muse.
Every time I do this process, even as I demo, I get access to yet another aspect of my own Muse.
Its quite remarkable how powerful it is, and I'm doing this process every single week!
Anyway, as I moved through the workshop, I noticed a lot of tiredness. I love this process, but today I was feeling off; not disengaged, but low energy.
And this was showing up in sloppy brushstrokes and the entire painting looked messy.
As I did the 3rd part of the process, I asked my Muse, what are you the Muse of?
And I clearly heard the words: "permission to be messy'.
What?
I was surprised when I heard this.
I'm usually so put together when I lead a workshop; and take care to demo with intention, especially as many folks are new to this process.
So I was taken aback by those words.
But I trust the voice of my Muse, so I trusted that these words had a message and continued to paint and tune in.
Then I got it.
Yeah, sure I was tired...for all these reasons:
This eclipse tunnel has been particularly intense on my body and I'm needing way more rest than before.
I'm handling a lot of commitments these days.
But the real reason I was feeling this way during the workshop, was this....one of the participants looked like my dad.
When I invited folks to turn on their video, and I saw the participant, I was shocked for a moment as the resemblance was very strong. And immediately, that brought up grief.
You may know that my dad passed away at the beginning of this year. And seeing this gentleman, brought up another layer of grief.
He was so engaged in the workshop, curious and willing to try all the processes out, candidly sharing his insights. So similar to my Gemini moon dad.
And, of course, this brought up a layer of emotions that were now ready to be felt and moved.
After the workshop got over, I had a really good cry. Gave myself permission to feel it all. I'm very good at honoring my emotions.
And then the deeper message of my Muse became clear.
This permission to be messy, she is asking me...
What would be possible for you, if you decided to do things anyway, even if it was messy?
Or if you did things imperfectly and didn't care what anyone or what even you thought of it?
Or didn't make any judgments about your 'competency' just because things were messy...ooh..
Wow, this last one really resonated!
Hello, Capricorn Mercury & Mars in my natal chart....incompetency is frowned upon 🙂
A deep-seated belief left over from my engineering days.
I shared these learnings about messiness with the workshop participants, about giving ourselves permission to do things imperfectly.
So often we have all these ideas about how things should look like and don't take action because of that.
And yet, my own experience has shown me that imperfect and even messy action moves me ahead, and gives me clarity that 'perfect inaction' just cannot.
Then I asked myself, what am I not doing because I'm afraid to look incompetent due to messiness?
And the answer was...not having an in-person workshop in my home, not offering PMPD to my community, not...
I'm still sitting with this question. However, I feel so much has already shifted within me.
The beauty of this Amused process is not just the mental understanding and breakthrough.
Its a shift in energy in the body and a rewiring of long held patterns in the brain.
That then creates a feeling of freedom & expansion that makes it easier to take action.
If you would like to experience this process for yourself, the next Amused workshop happens on Nov 9th.
Click on the image for all the details:
